On the eve of Barack Obama’s last day as president, I find myself emotional. Part of it is fear of and disgust with the incoming administration, yes, but I imagine the end of the Obama Administration would be emotional for me even if we were celebrating our first female president tomorrow. Since I’ve been old enough to understand what government is there have been three presidents, but only one has been, and will continue to be, a beacon in my life.

I would imagine you can guess my thoughts on Number Two, so I won’t say much about him except to say that I cried in school when he was re-elected and counted down to the end of his presidency. But he’s not looking so bad these days, and with the perspective gained from 2016, I can say that I’ve come to respect him as a man who was wrong about a great many things, but who cared about his country and its people and who tried to do what he thought was best.

Number One was a deeply flawed man who I still believe was a great president, but one with a complicated legacy. When he left office, I heralded his accomplishments. I believed that you could be a great leader without being a great person, and I believed that he was a great leader. I still believe that he did a lot of great things and that our country was better for having had him as our president, but it’s 2017 and we know more now than we did in 1999. What we thought was just “boys being boys” in 1999 we now recognize as sexual assault and harassment. We acknowledge now that he didn’t just cheat on his wife; he repeatedly took advantage of the women around him in ways both serious and trivial. I still believe you don’t necessarily need to be a great person to be a great leader, but these days it’s hard to ignore the fact that he was not a great person.

I’ll miss President Obama for the passion and grit he brought in getting the Affordable Care Act passed. I’ll miss him for the hope and optimism he spread when he said, “Yes we can!” I’ll miss him for all the times he tried to bring a little bit of comfort to the victims of a mass shooting (P.S. Let’s try to take that off the next guy’s plate, okay?) I’ll miss him for the way he could see the big picture even when the rest of us couldn’t. I’ll miss him for his humor. I’ll miss him for the incredible grace he showed under enormous pressure and with unprecedented opposition. I’ll miss him for his bromance with Joe Biden. I’ll miss him for the walls he broke down, the mountains he climbed, and the history he made. But mostly, I’ll miss him for being a great leader and a great man.

President Obama has been a father first and president second. He’s remained loyal to his wife and he clearly adores her. He’s made unpopular decisions because they were the right things to do for the most people. Hillary Clinton likes to quote the Methodist phrase: “Do all the good you can, for all the people you can, in all the ways you can, as long as ever you can.” I don’t know that I’ve ever heard President Obama say that phrase, but for eight years I’ve watched him live it. I’ve trusted him. I’ve admired him. I’ve fought for him. I’ve been inspired by him. I’ve loved him.

So yeah, I may be crying tonight, but they’re not sad tears (at least not completely.) They’re tears of gratitude. Because for the past eight years, President Obama has taught me that we should hold our representatives to high standards and he’s shown me that a president can be a great leader and a great man (or woman). And I’ll never stop believing in that.

Thanks, Obama!

– Carley